Triumph from Tragedy: A Story of Loss & Growth

By JOHN GAAL, EdD, CPS, CHW-C, LAP-C

My oldest son, John S. Gaal, Jr., was a vibrant young man, remembered by all who knew him as kind, funny, smart as well as a very good athlete.

He was a creative practical joker with a love for travel and cooking. John possessed a deep sense of justice, often fighting for the underdog both on and off the field – especially the unhoused populations.

Beneath his cheerful exterior, John Jr. hid his pain, earning him his mother Mary’s affectionate nickname, “a good mother faker.” The true measure of the lessons he embodied was evident when approximately 1,000 people attended the funeral for the 24-year-old son, brother and friend who died by suicide.

When tragedy struck, the available resources for our family were sparse. We were introduced to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) services through my in-laws, years earlier, and later discovered the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) as another supportive resource. Within the construction industry, where I worked, efforts to address the suicide epidemic began to mobilize around 2018.

In 2009-10, back when John Jr. played High School football and soccer, the conversation around concussions was limited. My personal knowledge expanded significantly in 2012 when our youngest daughter, Leah, was in a serious car accident on her way to school. After being rushed to a nearby hospital, she was misdiagnosed in the ER and sent home – only for the school nurse to recognize her concussion injury days later. This led to a year-long process of treatment and special education. During this time, John Jr. called home, urging his mother to focus on his little sister’s care because his own sports-related concussions were beginning to negatively impact his life – a concern he never voiced again until late 2016. A book I found in a library in 2013, co-authored by a pioneer at the Concussion Legacy Foundation (CLF), further opened his eyes to the risks of concussions.

Despite John Jr.’s experience, I do not discourage participation in sports since there now is a wealth of new knowledge regarding Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) and Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) vs what existed in 2010. In fact, the science has shifted the focus from the number of concussions to the number of repetitive head impacts (RHIs). New rules, better equipment and updated protocols (i.e., modified practice schedules, flag vs tackle football before age 14, no heading in soccer before the age of 12, trained medical professionals at sporting events, etc.) are attempting to make “collision” sports safer.

Please note that CTE is a progressive, degenerative brain disease caused by repeated head impacts that, to date, can only be detected posthumously.

The loss of an industry colleague and high school friend’s son to an opioid overdose in 2016 –  coupled with my own son’s suicide in 2017 – provided the powerful impetus for action. By June 2017, CDC data (2016) revealed construction ranked #1 in opioid misuse and #2 in suicide deaths. This science provided the two of us an opportunity to link our personal stories of loss which, in turn, opened doors within the construction industry.

After retiring in early 2019, I undertook extensive training in mental health first aid, suicide prevention and other related topics. In 2021, the Missouri AFL-CIO launched a nonprofit arm, Missouri Works Initiative, where I serve as the director of worker wellness. My work has since focused on integrating these lessons into various industry sectors (mostly construction) at the local, national and international levels. For the past 1.5 years, I have been involved in a research study focused on acute suicide postvention in the construction industry. The four phases of the study are as follows:

1) Surveys: 64 participants from 5 countries

2) Interviews: 15 participants consisting of loss & attempt survivors, first responders, construction professionals and researchers/practitioners

3) Focus Group: Made up of local participants from each phase above

4) End Products: Utilizing findings from Phases 1-3 to develop and launch training, etc.

My main goals are to:

1) provide assistance to others in those first 48 hours following a suicide incident and, hopefully, prevent other families from enduring the same shame and pain my family did in 2017; and

2) connect the 3 legs of the Suicide Triangle: Prevention/Intervention/Postvention …because unless and until we do, suicide rates will surely continue to rise.

John Gaal, EdD, CPS, CHW-C, LAP-C’s work attempts to link the three legs of the Suicide Triangle – prevention, intervention and postvention – particularly within the construction industry. To connect with John, reach out to him at [email protected].